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whispering reflections

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

12:15PM - darkened chambers

he came not long beyond our departure my love....always he comes...uncalled...unsought...since i was a mere child...together we at times exist in the shadows between seconds of reality within night wakes and daydreams....i am laughing my love....for i know you shut your understanding of my words beneath a veil of misty illusion for it is safe for you there....yet know never will i harm thee...how could i?...
i waited alone in a darkend chamber of a tomb for you...did you know this?....surely you can not deny that you knew i waited....i waited while you looked for me in others.....my blood ran cold...miles from me you were but miles do not and can not unconnect us...what is it do you think i did with your doubt of me when he whom i never call came to me....my blood was ice...my anger fire...raging war on a gentle forest...my pain buried deep in the voided abyss...surely you can see it in your minds eye....surely you know.....yes i unleashed it...i unleashed it on him and when i was finished....i doomed us both....

Monday, November 21, 2005

10:00AM - hunger

i would have never denied you...your hunger....the endless need to fill it....these i know well...but i lack the understanding of how one loves what one does not trust enough to believe in beyond the shadow doubts....
they came often after our departure...my sorrow grew...then sorrow began building the anger wall between here and there....no my love the answer was not with you or for you fully....it was for other things....my stubborn selfishness and anger became an intense hatred of all i was....i was determined to kill all the magick and beauty that made me as i am....
the whispers on the wind tell...my hunger outruns even the wind itself....truth is oft...a sting and when angered enough....feeds the anger more...does it not?....
the more i denied myself....the more faded i became...beauty fled from my vision and nothing replaced the loss of this vision....i refused the light of day...the dark of moon...i could not live and i could not die....and still my hunger grew....i thought this pure madness.....this my love you know...yes this you know well.....

Monday, November 14, 2005

7:14AM - stale water

perhaps it was that you were unafraid that amused me...then enchanted me so....fate is not without a sense of irony though my friend....and i wondered why i heeded not the whispers on the wind that only witches hear....
they warned enough but the warnings came late....i claimed you by the time i lifted my stubborn veil and listened to the winds calling.....there was nothing that could be said to me....why i demanded can i not experience this joy...who were they to warn me....ha....do you know i ask thee?....
ahh...this is all now stale water under the bridge...foul..musty and blackened by my foolish pride and lost innocence....how i am forgiven for such a turning away....humbles me my love.....somewhere within you...you already know this...you know it through the night...when the distances between are no more.....

Thursday, November 10, 2005

10:16PM - tick tock

the hours upon a clock.....today was filled with usual mundane happening of day in day out...memories filtering from time to time...then like clocks stopping.... to ease away....we harbor them...memories i mean....visiting yesterday...coloring our today...reflecting then slumbering...embracing then begging for release...

did you understand why together the love we made...the lust we filled would never be enough for you to know you created me as you wished me to be rather then as i am....i make you uncomfortable yet your hunger keeps you coming...you are as much a mystery to me...as i to you....your grace and light shine unlike any other human i have encountered......

7:39AM - gollum

loved neither by the sun nor by the moon....tis but the unexpected of course..that is how i see gollum.....
why do you come to my dreams and say not a word...do you think i am unaware...perhaps tis but you that is.....i have asked but what of me?....well i broke my own heart and now my love....well now my wings grow out again as i tell the tale....those of old you clipped but only because i allowed you too...i held my innocent faith against the odds.....

Wednesday, November 9, 2005

11:04AM - bound together

from my stone pillow i dreamed.....and you shut me out and rode your damnest blade through a heart that shall never cease to haunt the wind...you placed yourself where you fear to hear the ringing of my bells....the ones they call hells bells....you scattered yourself like a frightened ghost away from me and listened only to your relentless cries of madden horror....you made yourself my victim...now you are only a silent child who shall returnth to me when you can bare no longer the empty ache only i can fill...but what of me?.....

Tuesday, November 8, 2005

10:39PM - whispers

you come because you know within you.....it is that dream that fades just upon your awakening that you grasp for yet filters away...leaving you hungry.....the gentle touch of my wings against your cheek that you find so erotic and fearful....i am your mystery...we are bound together...this my love is your doing.....

do you know twas i whom birthed the dark angels....

3:17PM - your silence, my wings

i am who i am...this is all i know how to be and i do not understands what it means...i was born long ago and came not alone...so where shall i begin?....there at the beginning...no that tis but another tale for another time

for this is a tale not only of me but of us...for my love you understood nothing and now well....i understand i must create again or vanish forever to a grave none returnth from...

out of the gloomy waste....these moments have bound me
something meaningless would horrify....our hours flew only to conceal i hid nothing from you....not my ignornace....not my fear...not the terror i sometimes give....who will love you as i have?....

Current mood: thoughtful

10:54AM - velvet darkness

what is the velvet darkness of ones soul?....

i hear voices on the wind whisper in the dead of the night....and they are always the same....undifferent to each yet haunted by their own devices that do nothing more then cage and surround with forest of decay.....and i pause.....
and the reflection becomes blurred by illusions of seasonal changes that grasp and release an endless heartbeat....shadowed by reality as it tries to figure out the rational logic to the rest of its life.....finding only existence is never fully here....never fully there...but somewhere...in betwee dreams....beauty they say is in the eye of the beholder...if so...if so...what in the end have we graced life with but the measure of a broken heart....and then...forever changed by the echo behind....can the echo ever overcome the voice.....
sometimes....i am in a small boat...on a grey sea....surrounded by ceaseless storms that rage as we often do and then dark touches darkness and angels weep....and the wind she whispers on....
.........they were written as a sacred ritual...then tossed aside......i began again in the early am....and i think of the wind....its gentle grace....its fierce whip....much like life in its vast ability to change...leaving us sometimes at its mercy yet allowing us to gain strength enough to weather possibilities never imagined....i sometimes feel there is no separation between myself and the wind...we are one and the same....entwined....by all that was...is...and shall be...abyssal.
beginning where it ends...a journey that is nothing more then my past reflecting back at me...and a truth that shall not be denied....where does the heart sing? i am blind....and i wonder if my reflection know the depth of its own...
the sleepfullness of humanity moves my soul to bleed....
hope what is hope but placing faith outside of yourself....when faith within oneself far outweighs hope....for it is always within our own faith that we find the strength to carry on the road.....

Current mood: mellow